{It's Been A Long Time...I Shouldn't Have Left You...}

Well...Well...Well....
It's been a long time. There has been a lot going on in my life and I somehow faded away from my blog. We'll I'm back, and won't be gone this long again. I guess I'll give a brief synopsis of what's been happening in MY world.
1. My oldest went back to school....2. I got approved for a major surgery, which I will be having in 5 days......3. I've been spending a lot of time out of town with family.....4. My sister FINALLY turned 18, can you say PARTY TIME?? LOL....5. Married life feels wonderful....6. I discovered one of my friends is a PSYCHO-HATER....um....and lots more. {Next Post is about her....stay tuned!!}

I've never really had a super busy life, but as of lately, ya girl has been on-the-move!!! I decided to make this post short and general. Just wanting to let you know that I'm still around. I guess 'we' have a lot to get caught up on. Work with me......

{The Professor}

In 1999, I enrolled at a local college. I met quite a few people...some who were from my neck of the woods and some from afar. I was double majoring in Business and Computer Information Systems with a minor in Social Work. I was loving college life. I didn't stay on campus because I had my own place, which made for great parties {By The Way}.
2 of my instructors were female, and old. If you know me....female and old..that's only 1 strike. LOL .you can figure out which one is worth the strike. My 3rd instructor was a winner. 6'something, 200+ muscular pounds, nice smile, 40ish-absolutely gorgeous. He taught Economics. Not only was his class very interesting, but he seemed more down to earth than the other 'teachers' I had come across. He didn't teach 'from the book'. He kept his shit real. He spoke the lessons in ways that even the dumbest muthafucka could understand. I could tell he had hood tendencies. I liked that. From the very first day of class, he seemed to be making eye contact with me. I brushed that shit off, and took it as "he-knows-I'm-one-of-the-smartest-bitches-in-this-class-and-he's-excited-he-has-one-less-dummy-to-worry-about", LOL By the end of the week, I noticed that there was something there. He'd ask questions, and no matter how many hands went up, he always chose me. ALWAYS. I was flattered, and a little embarrassed. It was way too obvious.

We make it all the way to the 4th week of classes. Now mind you, all this time this fine specimen of a man, was flirting with me, and I'd be a damn lie if I said I wasn't flirting back. Winks here, smiles here...shit like that. Class was dismissed, and I had to get a test from him that I had taken earlier in the week. I proceed to get my test, and there was a post-it on my test that read.... I looked, and he smiled. Inside I'm thinking...what the hell? I decided to call the next day. I figured...this man is powerful, and damn sexy, I don't want him thinking I'm some average chick that's gonna fall to my knees because he has the power to give me an A for sucking his dick through a straw. {Yes, I thought all of that} The next day, I give him a call. At first the conversation was a bit weird...kinda dry. I mean, he was much older than myself, and in a much better financial position that I was in...what did we really have in common. We decided that we had better chemistry face to face. I invited him over so that we could 'talk'. He made it to my place in LESS THAN 10 minutes.....wow, right? From the moment he walked through my door....it was on. This man's demeanor was so much different from what I had seen in class. He was aggressive(+), he was sexy(+), he was naked, and so was I in less than 30 seconds(+++)! This man ate THEE HELL out of my pussy. I mean, my shit was throbbing!! He was a beast. He threw me around like a rag-doll, and I loved every fucking moment of it. There was no bullshit, no small talk, straight fuckin! No nigga had ever given it to me this good. After a couple hours, things were winding down. We caught a few moments of sleep. When we woke up, we discussed normal shit. The conversation ended with me asking...."Where do we go from here?" He responded...."see you in class tomorrow." We did this for the rest of the semester. He would come over, fuck me silly, and bounce. The shit was so good, I never had time to feel neglected on a personal level. After the semester was over...we drifted apart. I got that 'A'!! LOL I took different classes, and that was that. But I swear...that may have been thee ONLY time I can say, I fell in love with a dick. Nothing more, nothing less.

The moral of this story is: Give brain...because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

{LabelWhore}

Well almost everyone who knows me, knows that I am pretty open with my sexuality in every form. I don't run around and throw all of my dirt out for the world to see, but I don't really hide it either. I love men and I love very, very select few women as well. I've been bisexual since I was 17. My motto has always been....I'm 'try-sexual'...let me try it...if I like it I'll try it again. So there it is. Anyway, I've never been one to put labels on people. Your sexuality is your own. If you care to discuss it, then so be it. I'm not your average 'carpet-munchin' girl tho. I choose the women I kick it with very strategically. I don't like 'Dykes'{no.offense.just.not.my.thing}. My logic is, if I wanted a man, I'd just get one....better yet ANOTHER one. I prefer very feminine, book bunnies. I like innocent, educated, girly girls like myself. I'm choosy and I have every right to be.

I get irritated with people who label themselves so much. I'm Bisexual. {Period} My family knows, my man knows and that's pretty much it. You won't catch me in a anything, @ Pride marchin' like I'm going to Gay War. That's not my thing. I keep it to myself. Not everyone knows about my lifestyle, and I prefer it that way. I don't need to be judged by anyone except God when it's my time.

So, with that being said-I met this girl at a lesbian bar. When I saw her I thought she was cute, but I kept it moving. She decided to speak. The first 30 seconds of our convo pertained to my 'label'. Are you a 'this', are you a 'that'. Bitch no!!! Her first concern should've been my name. I rudely let her know, that I don't put titles on myself, and walked thee fuck away. There are people new to their sexuality, and those are the muthafuckas that need to stay away from me. I know who I am, and you should too. I am in no mood, at this .point. in my life to teach you anything.

I've had a steady, long term connection {6 yrs} with a female in Muskegon. I see her about 3-4 times a year, and I know that seems like very rarely, but for us, it's good. Bitches catch feelings, and the distance prevents that. She does her thing, and I do mine. When she visits, it's just like old friends catching up. There's no P.D.A., unless we're in that type of environment. I don't believe in pushing my choices in other peoples faces. I'm very reclusive when it comes to my personal life. I guess this would be a good time to give her a nickname.....how about....'Platinum'. 'Platinum' is a sweetheart. Very down to earth, mad sexy, and just overall cool as hell. I never have to speak more than 5 words before she knows what I'm about to say. I love that. We've come super close to being 'friends*only', but nah...that just doesn't work. We have this bond like no other. I've found that someone doesn't have to be all up in your shit, to truly know you. She knows me...really knows me from a distance. {[I Hope She Stays Distant]} LOL
I don't need to put a title to who I am, because the title doesn't make me who I am.

So the moral of this story is.....Don't Wear The Label....Let The Label Wear You.

The.Greatest.LoVe...The.UTmoST.HATE....

This blog is dedicated to my 'current'. {He knows 'of ' this blog, but doesn't know about it}

I've been with my current since 1996. I met him when I was 14 years old. I saw him at the mall, and we spoke...we were inseperable for a very long time. It was during our high school years, and we were learning so much so fast. FastForward---->1999 he graduates high school, and decides that he wants to join the military and that was the end of us. I moved on with my life and he did the same. I ended up having a daughter with someone else, and married that person.{You'll 'meet' him in a future blog} Anyway...I never forgot about him. Our time apart, always had me wondering where he was, what he was doing and who was he with. We had ended all communication, and so they were just left as thoughts. I had a tough life for awhile. But I missed my first love. In 2002, I was recently divorced, and decided to try and locate my heart, because I felt empty. I called a few connects, and was able to pass my number along so that he could call me. He did. We spoke, and it was like we had never skipped a beat. I found out a lot of things that had been going on with him. Things that would turn most women the other way. I knew him...the real him. I wasn't phased. He was still in the military and didn't foresee a leave of any kind. He was there. I was somewhere else. We talked on the phone everyday...$6400 worth of phone calls. In 2005, he suffered the biggest blows of his life 3 days apart, his parents passed away. 2 separate deaths, for 2 totally different reasons.{i.know.right?} HE WAS COMING HOME!! I was so sad/nervous/excited all at the same time. I was there at the airport when he arrived. Again...Hurricane Katrina couldn't have ripped us apart. I was his support. His strength. I was there for him 100%.

We moved forward from his parents deaths together. In 2008 we were officially...united. It was thee best day of my life. Everyone says we're soul mates. I believe that. We did everything together...and for one another. What goes up...must come down. He cheated. And cheated. And cheated. I cried....and then got smart! I played the game {with no manual}:inside.joke:

I love this man more than I've ever loved anybody, and I have a hatred and resentment for him all the same. I've been living a lie. I have men on the side and he has no clue! He had chicks on the side, and thinks I have no clue...I have names, addresses and phone numbers. Women are smarter than men or are we? Am I a fool for living this way. I'm content when I'm with one of the 'others'....I'm pissed @ the 'current' when I'm not. I don't love these niggas...I just want them. My life is dysfunctional beauty. This is not your average, run of the mill marriage. I don't want that either. I live for the days full of uncertainty. Will I get caught? Will I just confess? Nah...this game is too much fun. A fucked up game of 'I can out-fuck you'. If he knew what I was doing behind his back...he'd be devastated. Yes, devastated. But why? Because he didn't know, or because I spend my days making him feel shitty for what I know he does. It's a mental game of bullshit, and I love it. I have thought about couples counseling...but thought better of it because I would want to go in whole hearted, but couldn't bare to confess my sins. Am I crazy...or am I winning this game? I use every chance I get to throw his infidelities up in his face...with a guilty soul. I believe that it's his fault our shit is so fucked up. I would have NEVER considered doing what I've done, had it not been for him fucking it up in the first place.

I never cry to family and friends about this shit because I have it under control. I have plans for the future, which include getting in PRIME physical shape, on behalf of his top of thee line insurance, obtain gainful employment and all that comes with that. I need this nigga on so many levels it's ridiculous. It won't be this way forever. If we do fix this relationship of ours, shit will be different! 100% so. He won't know what hit him. I gotta admit though-{I don't think I could ever leave that dick alone.} He's packing and knows how to lay it down! LOL I swear he has batteries in his tongue, LOL But really, he is a good guy for the most part. He loves his kids, works full time, shows me affection and love....but that side shit, he just won't let go of....and neither will/can I. I'm a good woman....a strong woman. One of these days he will realize that, and we can come up on the come up together. It takes hard work and dedication. He's not gonna let go of me, and I'm not gonna let go of him, Until I get ready. The moral of this story is: I'm not going anywhere until he upgrades me. Love it or hate it....it is what it is. Benefits are meant to be split 2 ways. Like my Granny said.....2 wrongs don't make a right, but my wrong makes me feel better.

{No Teeth....Don't Choke...DICK SUCKIN 101}

I decided to post a quick entry on how to Suck Dick...properly. There are quite a few techniques when it comes to performing fellatio.

The first and most important rule would be....NO TEETH!!! There is an exception to that rule though.  If you take the dick and run the shaft along the smooth surface of your teeth, I've been told that the contrast in texture is a nice, subtle surprise.

Never neglect the balls. The balls are sensitive, show them some attention. Lick them, suck them, stroke them with your fingertips. Always be gentle with them. 

Men love eye contact. Don't be lazy and suck his dick with your head on his stomach/pelvic area. Get on your knees between his legs, and let him watch you show his 'soldier some attention'.

Don't be quiet. Smack your lips, make the noise like your sucking on a Blowpop.

Try different hand techniques. There's one I like called 'Basket Weaving'. Intertwine your fingers, and grip his dick. Stroke it up and down with a frim grip.... rotate your wrists a little, it's real nice with lube.

Get messy....SLOB on it...SPIT on it. They like that.

Last but not least.....work on your gag relex. Now, I was blessed to not have one. {WHOOTWHOOT!!} Push it down your throat as far as you can, before you feel any reflex occuring. When a man can feel the back of your throat, it's a turn on. Practice with a jelly dildo if necessary.

I'll hit on 'Swallowing' in a later blog. That's another post, all together.

The moral of this story is: You get what you give....don't give...you don't get.

{What's Your Pleasure?}

I have a pretty active sex life. {More than once a day, 5-6 days a week} It's extremely good! We have a very open and honest relationship, and I think that makes it even better.
I wonder what men really desire in the bed. I know I do my part to keep it spicy, but..."What Do Men Really Want?" I know alot of guys are into porn, shit, so am I...but is that porn fantasy really what guys are interested in...not just for the night, but for the long haul? Can you really handle a bitch hangin from the chandeliers every night? Do men desire a 'SLUT' every night? I think variety is the spice of life. It's good to fuck, but sometimes making love is where it's at. I mean....sweaty, passionate, body bonding love making.
I'm really into bringing fashion into the bedroom. 7' inch stripper heels, Corsets and other Lingerie. I like to look good for my man at all times. Alot of times, I just like to be comfortable when I'm posted around the house. When we're in bed....it's a different story.
There are alot of different preferences when it comes to what you want in the boudoir. I, ,myself like to keep it unpredictable. One night, you may get Heather Hunter...and the next night you might just get "Me" and either way, you should consider yourself a very lucky muthafucka.....

The moral of this story is: Get it in....however you like it.

{Blame It On The A-a-a-a-a-alcohol}

I love to drink. I would NEVER call myself an alcoholic....more like an 'Alcohol Connoisseur', lol. There's just something about a nice drink after a long, stressful day. My choice has and will forever be, Light. The taste of a Dark Cognac, does nothing for my palette...or for my face. You ever had a drink of something, that turned your face so wrong? Ugh! I've always been a Vodka girl...Vodka and just about anything is alrite with me.

I like chick drinks...Mojitos, Cosmos, Sex on the Beach...you know.

I never drink to get drunk, but if it does happen...when it has happened, I've ALWAYS held my composure. Which brings me to the topic of this post. Why do people get so drunk, that they cannot handle themselves?? Now...getting drunk at home is a different story. You are in an area that you're safe in. You can be yourself with no worries. I'm not saying you may not do some unflattering things {i.e. drunk texting/emailing/calling} but you are in a more private environment to do so. When you wake up, you can make apologies then, LOL

In an earlier entry, I mentioned a girl, I call "Fire". "Fire" is already at 'HoodRat' status, and to top it off, she has a bad habit of getting pissy drunk IN PUBLIC! That's a no-no. I mean...cursing, falling over, babbling, angry DRUNK. That shit is horrible. I'm not calling her an alcoholic either, but when she drinks, she doesn't handle her liquor well at all. She isn't the only female I know like this. It seems to be an epidemic.

I did not get fly, drive to the club, and meet a sexy ass nigga just to have to stop you from getting into fights. I am not with you to hold you up so that you don't fall and bust-yo-ass. I'm not kicking it with you so that I can kill my buzz, trying to make sure some perv doesn't slip something in your drink!

Most people have a sip before they hit the club. The reasons may vary from-1. I'm broke and can't afford more than one drink. 2. I'm not cute and a nigga ain't gonna buy me a drink + see #1. LOL Or just because you wanna get a head start!! Either way, if you're drinking before you hit the club, pace-your.fuckin.self when you get in there!! If someone offers to buy you a drink, you better fuckin take it, but you don't have to guzzle it. Sip that shit! There is nothing more unattractive than a drunk bitch. I always maintain my sexy. I talk alot of shit when I drink, but I'm never abrasive, or brash. I will and have been known to leave a bitch in the club for getting out of hand. If I see yo ass on Girls Gone Wild...trick, I DON'T KNOW YOU!

Not to mention, being drunk and driving is so irresponsible. I've driven with a buzz-I won't lie. But I know my limits. I've never been afraid to call a cab to drive me home, or even have someone sober take my keys. There is no reason to risk someones life because you don't know your limit! Nobody is perfect, mistakes are meant to be made and mistakes are also meant to be avoided.(Your friendly Public Service Announcement)(Now back to your regularly scheduled program)

So, the moral of this story is: If you can't hold your own in public, because you're too INEBRIATED, SHIT-FACED, PILT, HAMMERED, CRUNK, BLITZED, WASTED, INTOXICATED or PLASTERED...you need to stay your 'ignant' ass at home. I don't take my kids to the club.......

P.S. If you throw up in my shit, you getting the FUCK outta my shit. Love ya!

Thank You, Come Again!!